Nuance has been the bane of my existence! Listening to music? There’s a right way. Walking? There’s a correct and incorrect way to walk depending on where the ball of your foot lands on the ground. Breathing? Breathe with your stomach and nose ..but if you’re running then you breathe in with your chest and breathe out with your mouth! Drinking water? Believe me, there’s an incorrect way and incorrect amount to fucking even drinking water!

Even these tiny everyday things had so much nuance to discover, my head was exploding with all the nuance in the big & important things I was doing/supposed to be doing in my life.

And the biggest problem wasn’t knowing there is nuance to something, but it was figuring out which nuanced take is true! For example, one of the first cultural shocks in Japan for me was parents not consoling their crying babies in public. I looked up and I could find an equal amount of good arguments making the case for consoling their babies and against it. Which one of these camps was true? I still have no clue

The way I understood Bhagvat Geeta (whatever little I could), Arjun was in a similar position, completely paralyzed at the beginning of the war due to his indecisiveness. He was about to go on a war against his own family, against his teachers, so many people on both sides of the war will be killed but he knew what Kauravas were capable of and what could have happened if their powers were left unchecked. Krishna intervenes and explains Dharam in the form of Geeta.

Dharam is what one ought to do. It’s not universal, it depends on the individual’s circumstances at that very moment in time. For Arjun going to war with his family at that particular point in time was his Dharam, but for most of us, it’s Adharam. So what one ought to do heavily depends on timing and one’s situation, what might be wrong for me might be right for you. Heck, what might be right for me today can easily turn into the wrong thing for me to do tomorrow! So if a child is crying there is no hard and fast rule to comfort them or not, the judgment comes completely from intuition.

So how do I develop this intuition which can guide me through the least significant to most significant parts of my life? I’m definitely no saint to have Lord Krishna come and be my charioteer…

What is my Dharam?

ਕਬੀਰ ਰੋੜਾ ਹੋਇ ਰਹੁ ਬਾਟ ਕਾ ਤਜਿ ਮਨ ਕਾ ਅਭਿਮਾਨੁ ॥ ਐਸਾ ਕੋਈ ਦਾਸੁ ਹੋਇ ਤਾਹਿ ਮਿਲੈ ਭਗਵਾਨੁ ॥੧੪੬॥ ਕਬੀਰ ਰੋੜਾ ਹੂਆ ਤ ਕਿਆ ਭਇਆ ਪੰਥੀ ਕਉ ਦੁਖੁ ਦੇਇ ॥ ਐਸਾ ਤੇਰਾ ਦਾਸੁ ਹੈ ਜਿਉ ਧਰਨੀ ਮਹਿ ਖੇਹ ॥੧੪੭॥ ਕਬੀਰ ਖੇਹ ਹੂਈ ਤਉ ਕਿਆ ਭਇਆ ਜਉ ਉਡਿ ਲਾਗੈ ਅੰਗ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਜਨੁ ਐਸਾ ਚਾਹੀਐ ਜਿਉ ਪਾਨੀ ਸਰਬੰਗ ॥੧੪੮॥ ਕਬੀਰ ਪਾਨੀ ਹੂਆ ਤ ਕਿਆ ਭਇਆ ਸੀਰਾ ਤਾਤਾ ਹੋਇ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਜਨੁ ਐਸਾ ਚਾਹੀਐ ਜੈਸਾ ਹਰਿ ਹੀ ਹੋਇ ॥੧੪੯॥